Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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