Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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