rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
