I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
