Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
