are you still at the devil's house?
My hand turned me down
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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