Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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