That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize