Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
