she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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