We won't sleep together?
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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