WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
