im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I could make wine with my vomit
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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