6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize