3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
