Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
