Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
