do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
