Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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