He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize