I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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