i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
