...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your penis caused this!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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