i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
