i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
