God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
