Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
