New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
