So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All I want is dick and wine.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
