I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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