people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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