I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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