how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
