She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This can only be settled by a dance off.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
