I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize