fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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