Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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