You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
