She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
