so explain again why im purple
no
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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