check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
