i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize