Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
