I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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