My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize