I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
