I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
