Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
