if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
