things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
