Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
