I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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