Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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