For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
