we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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