So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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